You look unto my deep dark soul at its finest.
The coarse veins that are in deep rapture.
I pave the way for pain because I often expected it.
You shove within me a bit of romance,
I bite through it like an animal that clamour for attention,
A shoulder to surrender to,
Wishing you’d know my story.
There you are prancing,
The panic attack of ablaze
I try to unravel you in my mind
I try to explore it;
Put stories in my head
Put things that should be where it shouldn’t
But these things seem to amaze me all the more
Hoping that this could be you before my eyes
It could be what I hoped for
It could be something that I shouldn’t take for granted
I wish you would understand that in time
All these wounds were for you to heal
Tainted by misery you try to bring me back to life
Bring me back to love what I should
Show me the side of you that was broken too,
All of these perhaps I bear in mind to witness
Yes, it is too early.
But the future is all I could have
All could obtain true
My past was hanging by a thread
And only the next would save it
Forward; it brings instead
What I left behind could not be changed
So I deeply hope that you could shake me from what lies ahead
So I could do the things
Right from now on,
With a smile on my face
With the sun that shines
With moral laughter
With love that I could grasp palm of my hands.
Driving afloat these sentences,
I fear of falling into deep emotion
I may fall too hard to this pit
Overshadowed by the past
I cling to their explanation
Of what will be
I wish to expect everything of this
To be real because you’re here
I don’t want to ruin this,
So-called friendship because
It’s as if it’s somewhere
I was seemingly off to a place
Where I could find you lingering
In my arms so happy
That all differences seem indulging in concrete personalities
What is to be changed is good
What is to be felt is all natural
What is to be found common
Is not surreal; but is a fact of life
Dreams are meant to be achieved
You are a dream indeed
But you could no longer stay a dream
If you wish to be all you could be.
I’d like to retrace the way you were in my head a few months ago.
The you that transpired in me was so perfect that I could never have a doubt that your empty soul never retrieved a shaded memory.
People around you looked up to you as you set an example for them.
But now I see you belonging to redeem a power accustomed to what they call you.
What could make you broken is what you think the love you gave and had taken away will not only be your brokenness, also theirs.
I would encourage to break the trap
The chain that binds them and help them lift their shoulders up but they won’t simply be shaken
I am just a shadow nesting in the soil beneath a tree
Bequeathed by the death that surpassed through millions of air that transfused through words
Are the pain that withers through me
The thing is, it cannot ever wither because whatever they shout through my wall will just always be a voice that echoed
I may not utter emotion nor deep despair for what they consume in everyday
Even if I deeply love their humanity and have angst for the monstrosity you put them through.
Because what is worthy of the silence is a five letter word they confided into me strongly
That’s for you to never
Release me from my anger
Because ever so strictly as it is
You have also given me the release I always longed for
But I just hope that you also give that to them as they are worthy of it
Happiness does not offer adversary
Where you quiver the reluctant you;
Happiness bluntly presents the determination of what truth should be,
and what should lie ahead:
It is a pinch of joy in an outpouring laughter.
Happiness does show goals in the primary brink of excitement.
It offers an array of fullness because of its growth;
A comfort setting upon grazing gladness in which you partake.
Even when you feel alone, you should feel this silence around you.
The happiness that comes with endearment, or the air’s blow
A journey of endeavors
A feeling of falling as if ablaze for amusement
The simplest of things may bring about this.
Happiness is always ready for your wonder.
Come across the outbursts of its fullness
For it will never be fuller when experienced by you
Here we go back to this vicious cycle; What haunted me for these past few years, I can succumb to all the pain but
Where is the justice in that?
Where can I acclaim the time that I have wasted?
Can we go back to where we started from and erase what has been done?
You were all afraid I admit.
Constantly, I believe that it is a struggle to love me.
But I therefore deserve to be loved by someone who can overcome my strength,
I’m still here and I still exist,
In my own being, I also die a little bit inside but this fight, these struggles and these sacrifices cause me to be alive.
Because I know I have always loved like never before. Though I may not get the love and the truth that I deserved there after and early on in life,
I will deserve it once and for all and I believe that it is in the future that I should bear in mind that I have so much people yet to inspire and all I have to do is to start again.
Victor Hugo’s Poem - More Strong Than Time
SINCE I have set my lips to your full cup, my sweet,
Since I my pallid face between your hands have laid,
Since I have known your soul, and all the bloom of it,
And all the perfume rare, now buried in the shade;
Since it was given to me to hear on happy while,
The words wherein your heart spoke all its mysteries,
Since I have seen you weep, and since I have seen you smile,
Your lips upon my lips, and your eyes upon my eyes;
Since I have known above my forehead glance and gleam,
A ray, a single ray, of your star, veiled always,
Since I have felt the fall, upon my lifetime’s stream,
Of one rose petal plucked from the roses of your days;
I now am bold to say to the swift changing hours,
Pass, pass upon your way, for I grow never old,
Fleet to the dark abysm with all your fading flowers,
One rose that none may pluck, within my heart I hold.
Your flying wings may smite, but they can never spill
The cup fulfilled of love, from which my lips are wet;
My heart has far more fire than you can frost to chill,
My soul more love than you can make my soul forget.
This intrigues me to make a probable reply or probably a woman’s version,
If this was ever addressed to me:
MY love may ever be smitten, never perishing and unreciprocated,
I hope you continue to say what you may say;
Words can often mean themselves now.
They can mean something else, in another lifetime
Expect though that it is love - and think that this love may never prosper,
I accept wholeheartedly to have loved you,
Was never regretful
For not to love you could mean a different self,
Storms may have thundered my soul in full blare
The trident may have pierced my flesh in not doing so,
For you have understood me in the midst of every glance
For you have comforted my heart with knowing that I could find my way
to somebody else’s arms - in time
For you have always chuckled
in every truthful time of peculiar moment in my felicitous being
For you have mended my heart from perfect sorrow
For you have sheltered me across all of experience
I succumb to not having you
Knowing that you never wanted to defy the painful soul
I never blame you; and I thank you
Because therefore, I have something to witness every morning -
and for your dreams to be protected,
By someone such as myself, is a never-ending splendor
Because we have heightened inspiration for each other
I fight for you as if I was war
I struggle for you as if it were sacrifice
I bleed for you as if it were a battlefield
I yearn for the glory you choose
I would justify every turning moment that I don’t