Here we go back to this vicious cycle; What haunted me for these past few years, I can succumb to all the pain but
Where is the justice in that?
Where can I acclaim the time that I have wasted?
Can we go back to where we started from and erase what has been done?
You were all afraid I admit.
Constantly, I believe that it is a struggle to love me.
But I therefore deserve to be loved by someone who can overcome my strength,
I’m still here and I still exist,
In my own being, I also die a little bit inside but this fight, these struggles and these sacrifices cause me to be alive.
Because I know I have always loved like never before. Though I may not get the love and the truth that I deserved there after and early on in life,
I will deserve it once and for all and I believe that it is in the future that I should bear in mind that I have so much people yet to inspire and all I have to do is to start again.
Victor Hugo’s Poem - More Strong Than Time
SINCE I have set my lips to your full cup, my sweet,
Since I my pallid face between your hands have laid,
Since I have known your soul, and all the bloom of it,
And all the perfume rare, now buried in the shade;
Since it was given to me to hear on happy while,
The words wherein your heart spoke all its mysteries,
Since I have seen you weep, and since I have seen you smile,
Your lips upon my lips, and your eyes upon my eyes;
Since I have known above my forehead glance and gleam,
A ray, a single ray, of your star, veiled always,
Since I have felt the fall, upon my lifetime’s stream,
Of one rose petal plucked from the roses of your days;
I now am bold to say to the swift changing hours,
Pass, pass upon your way, for I grow never old,
Fleet to the dark abysm with all your fading flowers,
One rose that none may pluck, within my heart I hold.
Your flying wings may smite, but they can never spill
The cup fulfilled of love, from which my lips are wet;
My heart has far more fire than you can frost to chill,
My soul more love than you can make my soul forget.
This intrigues me to make a probable reply or probably a woman’s version,
If this was ever addressed to me:
MY love may ever be smitten, never perishing and unreciprocated,
I hope you continue to say what you may say;
Words can often mean themselves now.
They can mean something else, in another lifetime
Expect though that it is love - and think that this love may never prosper,
I accept wholeheartedly to have loved you,
Was never regretful
For not to love you could mean a different self,
Storms may have thundered my soul in full blare
The trident may have pierced my flesh in not doing so,
For you have understood me in the midst of every glance
For you have comforted my heart with knowing that I could find my way
to somebody else’s arms - in time
For you have always chuckled
in every truthful time of peculiar moment in my felicitous being
For you have mended my heart from perfect sorrow
For you have sheltered me across all of experience
I succumb to not having you
Knowing that you never wanted to defy the painful soul
I never blame you; and I thank you
Because therefore, I have something to witness every morning -
and for your dreams to be protected,
By someone such as myself, is a never-ending splendor
Because we have heightened inspiration for each other
I fight for you as if I was war
I struggle for you as if it were sacrifice
I bleed for you as if it were a battlefield
I yearn for the glory you choose
I would justify every turning moment that I don’t
These moments when I think about it,
I think about you
Even when you seem so far
Even when I have not seen you in forever
Feels like my dreams flutter out of nowhere
Something to hold onto when you’re rather far away
A dream of your perfection
That you may have never seen
Despite all pinches of doubt
Despite me, not knowing you well enough,
Your persona bewilders my naked mind.
Within me accompanies a risk
That if I did not accomplish, I’d further regret
I called for this to address the other side of the can -
Attached to its string
Because despite your knowledge,
You deserve to know.
You were meant to find out.
Across the patches of this so-called “unresolved era,”
I acclaim my deep endearment for you.
Thank you for your thoughts that I may have come across &
You’re ever so welcome in mine.
If you need anything else, even so help, or not at all,
Just do not forget this little thing
That may be perceived as massive before your eyes,
I conclude, therefore,
I have loved you today, perhaps, maybe, should it already be called so,
I have no clue, I do not really know
But that does not imply that this “love” is lost or will never refurbish again
Given the chance that I could flourish it someday with you
It may not come from your words, Nor actions and gestures
But maybe the friendship I once knew or think we had
I do not expect anything,
Anything at all.
Just your appreciative glance
Across my mind filled with rainbows
My eyes subjected to pure happiness as I see your face that says “Hello.”
I die a little inside just because I need to let go of you.
I hope you’d find her and she’d be worthy, or rather you’d be worthy in her presence.
It may not be today or this certain decade that you’d want to linger in love,
but I hope you’d end up in her arms and make her feel special like I did, well I really hope I did.
When summer times blend with you or hectic times in residency, I hope you’ll still have time for others that you have left behind even if it was your purpose to help those in need, who are sick and who were more helpless.
I hope you find that helpless; in her arms and make her often wonder and at the same time know why you still stay; because you love her.
As she should, I will forever love you, and adore what you meant to me.
Because in this time, I know of silence that you’ve forbidden yourself. From the love you should have felt by now, may it not be from a friend you just call by her nickname but from someone so special you still hang on to her with drunk calls on the side.
I may not know your story very well but I’m determined to say that I have loved you from a far and no matter how near times may be; time may try to make you further away from me, out of reach in time just to erase everything,
Because your heart warmed mine.
My swollen, sunken, cold, broken heart that is trying to mend its way to salvation from those trying and hurting times. I won’t ever regret loving, most welcomingly a heart that is yours;
A heart that swore to profession, career and ambition.
A heart that wants to move people,
A heart so tender, a heart that is more giving and a heart that could never resist Beating for someone else.
I can’t find love
It’s just not something you wait for.
It’s something you should feel everywhere.
That one true soul mate,
That one true warmth,
You seek to approve of,
And for these times,
You have to look for love from everyone you see, hear, touch, interact with, talk to, fight with, share your inner most thoughts or that beggar on the street.
Even if I know I see it in you,
It couldn’t be a vice;
You’re addicted to, you keep looking for it but you’re never really satisfied.
Nor could it be a dream;
When you sleep at night; best things are to come.
It should be something as of though, reality.
You can’t shuffle through it when there are the tough times.
You carry it wherever you go.
This love, you may think dissolves but it shouldn’t because:
For its risk; you’d want to gamble everything you have to just to find the right kind of love.
For its suffering; you’d crucify like He did.
For its sake; everyone is a fool for it.
For its blessing; we are toughened up because we have it.
And, for crying out loud; you can’t miss it because it could just be right there in front of you.
For its right; whatever love you may find, you should keep it and share it with your world and in the world we live in,
For its misery; it’s just a make or break, and anything could be felt, contentment, pleasure and for all sadness to cut loose.
For its glory; you get shaken, and stirred because when you have found the best, there’s so much more in store.
You get tamed and wild at the same time.
Sane and insane.
It keeps you alive.
and you’ll surely won’t lose it.
Because the ones you love may surely tend to throw you of so much.
Keep on going
Because it helps you, your heart.
Just because, it is always worth it.
Shove off the pain;
Keep love growing.
Spoil those who need it;
It is certain for happiness.
And with that love, you could never go wrong.
Because it comes from you,
And from you has birthed something beautiful.
My new sounds:
Too selfless; too giving to others than to my self nor my family,
Maybe this is a purpose. That I have withheld in me because I know that people will be richer than they are with my help, only to relieve the pain. Or maybe the way for me to retrieve what I have lost;
He has moved on to someone else and so should I have someone else to hold on to but now that I am trying to find it, I’ve been tired of waiting pushing myself to even further to still keep on trying because I know I will regret it if I will just quit on what I have worked on so far.
Don’t I deserve departure from sadness?
I am happy,
Will that be enough?
The fullness of my joy shall be obsolete when the time comes that I have accomplished my task.
What will happen next?
I am not a person of patience;
Patience is not a virtue of mine.
But I truly would like to hold on.
Because I truly think it should be worth it in the end.
To think that there are so many inspirations everywhere and you just have to do something about what they say and prove it. Show them that they have worked their tongues off to push you to pursue the things you are determined to finish. With that kind of push; you can never go wrong. You can definitely do it. Thank you miss for this wonderful session. Makes me want to continue my number one motto and mission in life: Give everyone the ultimate happiness that I can give. #Cheesy #Memorable #Inspiring #Happiness #Gratification #Amazing #WeAreGoingToMissYou #Selfie #BestProf #NoJoke #WorthIt #GoodJob #GiveAndTake 😍📯🔑🔦💡🎅🏆 #GoForGold #Pressure #LastClass #NeverGoodbye #KeepInTouch (at Miguel Building)